Post by Bethany on Aug 1, 2016 14:03:17 GMT -5
The last 9 months, two weeks and 3 days had been almost unbearable. That's how bad they were, bad enough for her to know the exact amount of days it had been since she and Wade had split up. It was still something that made her wake up in the night and scream, scream because for a moment, he was still there with her. And then she would wake up, and her bed would be empty and her heart would shatter into a thousand pieces once again. Who knew it was possible for your heart to shatter so many times?
Some days, she thought it would be easier to have died, than to feel how she felt day in, day out. Of course, not every day was bad. Some days she felt like she was finally starting to get over it. Finally moving on, accepting that things would never be the way they once were and maybe, just maybe, one day she would be okay. But mostly, it was a void. A dark, lonely world. She didn't know what was worse - the physical, excruciating agony of feeling like her heart had been ripped out, or the numbness. At least the numbness didn't hurt. Not physically, anyway.
The bottle of wine clinking on the top of her glass was enough to make her shiver. She had been sat on the balcony for a couple of hours, and there were now two empty bottles beside her, plus the one she had just opened. Her hands were clumsy as she attempted to pour from the third bottle. She drank in silence, hoping that at the end of this bottle, maybe there would be an answer to all of this. A miracle pill that took her back a year, back to when things were happy and normal. Their version of normal, anyway.
The alcohol only convinced her that she could handle a conversation with him. She picked her phone up from the small table next to her, tapping his number onto the screen. It took her a couple of attempts to get it right, but she still knew his number off the top of her head.
"Why helloooooo Mr Wade!!!" Her words were barely even a slur. For a girl that didn't drink alcohol, she wasn't used to this. Not at all. The only reason she had decided to drink tonight was purely the fact it would have been their second year anniversary today. "It's me.. Your Summer Sunshine! Wait.. I'm gonna be s.. Oh no, I'm good." A laugh came out of her mouth, but she wasn't happy. She was completely out of it. "Although I'm not your Sunshine anymore. I'm your cloudy cloud!" And with that, she dropped the phone from her ear. She grumbled and swore under her breath as she tried to bend down to pick it up, the phone call still active.
Some days, she thought it would be easier to have died, than to feel how she felt day in, day out. Of course, not every day was bad. Some days she felt like she was finally starting to get over it. Finally moving on, accepting that things would never be the way they once were and maybe, just maybe, one day she would be okay. But mostly, it was a void. A dark, lonely world. She didn't know what was worse - the physical, excruciating agony of feeling like her heart had been ripped out, or the numbness. At least the numbness didn't hurt. Not physically, anyway.
The bottle of wine clinking on the top of her glass was enough to make her shiver. She had been sat on the balcony for a couple of hours, and there were now two empty bottles beside her, plus the one she had just opened. Her hands were clumsy as she attempted to pour from the third bottle. She drank in silence, hoping that at the end of this bottle, maybe there would be an answer to all of this. A miracle pill that took her back a year, back to when things were happy and normal. Their version of normal, anyway.
The alcohol only convinced her that she could handle a conversation with him. She picked her phone up from the small table next to her, tapping his number onto the screen. It took her a couple of attempts to get it right, but she still knew his number off the top of her head.
"Why helloooooo Mr Wade!!!" Her words were barely even a slur. For a girl that didn't drink alcohol, she wasn't used to this. Not at all. The only reason she had decided to drink tonight was purely the fact it would have been their second year anniversary today. "It's me.. Your Summer Sunshine! Wait.. I'm gonna be s.. Oh no, I'm good." A laugh came out of her mouth, but she wasn't happy. She was completely out of it. "Although I'm not your Sunshine anymore. I'm your cloudy cloud!" And with that, she dropped the phone from her ear. She grumbled and swore under her breath as she tried to bend down to pick it up, the phone call still active.
