The Dramatic Spiel of Arthur and Chardonnay~ (7,138 views)

She was fucking serious about sleeping on the couch.

Arthur sat on the edge of his bed, his phone now held in his hand, his expression twisted down into a scowl. He was communicating with his sister right now – next Monday she wanted to take him and Adelaide out to dinner and Arthur said he might be able to go. He probably would. And he hated the fact that he felt so annoyed right now that he was letting it seep into the way he was texting, so much so that Susan asked him if he was okay. He replied with a curt “sure” but she didn’t believe him and wound up calling him. Arthur didn’t like that but he answered anyway – he told her he just had a long day at work and wasn’t feeling well. Which was technically true. By the time he got off the phone with his sister he felt even more drained than before. Lying to his sister always put that effect on him, and he hated it. But what the fuck was he going to tell her? That Chardonnay was being whiny and thought he was a liar and sleeping with someone else? Putting aside the fact that he’d probably give his sister a heart attack if he casually mentioned he was sleeping with Chardonnay, she’d probably laugh at him and tease him about caring so much about what she thought.

Arthur hung up the phone after telling his sister good night, and exhaled, flopping backwards onto his bed. Chardonnay didn’t come in after an hour. He got up and saw the light off in his living room. He walked out of his bedroom and glanced at the couch, looking at the sleeping – he assumed – face of Chardonnay. She hadn’t even folded out the couch. That made Arthur’s brows twitch in irritation. He was going to complain under his breath, mutter something about her being selfish, but all he did was breathe out a sigh and resist the temptation to adjust the blanket like he was so doing when he saw Maxine or Adelaide sleeping out here. No use risking waking Chardonnay up, after all.

He went back to his room and changed into his nightclothes and curled up on his side of the bed, trying to ignore the fact that it felt colder than he was used to. He pulled his phone out and would up watching some videos on it until he fell asleep with his earbuds still in.

He woke up after a dreamless sleep and stretched, cracking his back as he looked at how... still empty his bed was. He didn’t know how he felt about this, how used to waking up beside Chardonnay he’d grown. It was... unnerving. He should be fine sleeping on his own. In college he couldn’t understand how anyone could share a bed, he liked to hog it all for himself if he could. So what the hell had changed? Why did his arms feel ridiculously cold that morning when she wasn’t in them? Fuck.

He took a warm shower, which helped his arms feel better. He woke up more as he hummed to himself and took a little longer than usual after he got out of the shower (leaving plenty of hot water left, unlike someone). He then took a half hour to shave his jaw and face, noticing with irritation hat the cut Chardonnay had left still hurt and stung when he put aftershave on his chin and cheeks. Jesus Christ.

Arthur got dressed in a white tee shirt with a purple plaid shirt on top of it, with the top two buttons undone. He slipped on a pair of jeans and looped a belt through the rings on his waist, before he combed his hair, dried it, and exited the bathroom. He went into the living room and noticed someone was still on the couch. He rolled his eyes and bypassed her, going into the kitchen, lazily slapping the coffee machine to life as he got a mug ready and checked his messages. Nothing important. He closed his phone and stifled a yawn behind the back of his hand. His coffee finished brewing and he poured it into his mug, then grabbed plenty of sugar and dumped it into his drink, not turning around to look at Chardonnay on the couch. She could wake up on her own damn time, it was a Monday, and Arthur still felt like shit.

Arthur took another long sip of the coffee, letting it slosh down his throat. He was hoping that it would wake him up, but it didn’t, really. At least not yet. He put the coffee mug down on the table and looked at the living room. Now he could see Chardonnay was awake, she was folding up the blanket and looked a mess. Her bedhead seemed even more accented to him, in that moment, and she was moving around sluggishly. It irritated him that she was so lethargic right now. She had no right to be! He was the one who had been hurt by her! She was the one calling him a liar! So why the hell was she so – so fucking – so fucking selfish! It irked him, and he tried not to think about what she was feeling. She had no right to feel bad because of him. He did nothing wrong to her. Absolutely nothing.

Once she moved into his bedroom, Arthur felt the irritation growing. She was so... not Chardonnay right now! Normally she would have come in here, screamed at him some more, called him a liar and frugal and insult his couch or whatever the fuck else she liked to spew at him and then tell him she was leaving! But instead she was just more lethargic than he was and it just... irritated him! So much!

He took another long sip of the coffee, so hot that it almost burnt his tongue off. But he still couldn’t... forget! He was still... annoyed!

He left the kitchen and entered his bedroom, leaving his coffee on the counter of the kitchen. He folded his arms over his chest and stared at Chardonnay’s back as she packed her clothes or... packed... whatever, it looked like clothes. He was so used to her stuff being in his closet that it felt just... weird to watch her going through her shit. Everything was just... weird!

”What the fuck is your problem?” He asked. He wanted to sound angry and annoyed, but what it actually wound up sounding like was tired, at least, moreso than usual. He thought that she was going to be leaving... maybe she was. But would she really go to a hotel? Was her condo done yet? He didn’t think so – though he never asked for updates on the state of the condo, he was pretty sure Chardonnay would have said something if it was fixed. ”You – you’re just – where the fuck are you going?”

Arthur narrowed his eyes when Chardonnay started to talk, expecting her to get angry with him and start shouting that he was such a damn liar and not a decent person and just the scum of the earth... when she didn’t do that. She didn’t exactly... compliment him, or apologize, but he was skirting around that subject. She was stuttering out and making excuses but she was trying to say... something.

The anger fell from Arthur’s face as she turned around to look at him. His eyebrows rose towards his hairline and he folded his arms across his chest as Chardonnay blushed and kept talking and rambling. Sure, what she was saying was accusing this whole situation of being his fault, but he knew her well enough by this point to know that everything she was saying was a front. She wasn’t a nice person. He knew that about her. She was selfish and mean and said whatever the hell she wanted but she was a lot different than she had been back in High School. At least towards him. She wasn’t saying he should just forget about all of this, she admitted to being pointlessly catty (and jealous? That made him narrow his eyes more and he wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about that admission but he didn’t say anything of it) and even stopped herself from calling Erin a bitch.

Funny. Weird, but funny. And she basically admitted that she trusted him, too. ”I don't expect you to screw me over, and you're probably the only person aside from my parents who I don't expect me to screw me over” was trust. That was definitely a trust that she had for him and hearing her say that implied way more than her just saying ‘I trust you’ or anything like that could possibly do. His body relaxed slightly and it was like a weight he hadn’t known was on his shoulders just got a little lighter. He knew he had no intention of screwing her over and apparently, she knew that, too. Even if she’d never say the words directly, she trusted him.

He could argue with her about not being a crazy bitch if he wanted to – he had plenty of evidence to prove she was – but he didn’t want to. Not when for once she wasn’t only being genuine, she was trying to apologize to him. And she was getting flustered about it. He’d only seen Chardonnay significantly embarrassed a handful of times. When he bought her tampons, when she laughed at his plaid boxers, and maybe a few times during sex when they’d suggested to try something new or made an embarrassing noise or something but even all of those times, it’d never gotten... this... awkward. He knew he got flustered all the time, but she generally kept herself composed or got him to shut up with a kiss. It was interesting to see her so confused with herself, and it was almost kind of... cute. Though he squashed that thought as it came. But, watching her fiddle with her hair and look away from him was certainly different.

”You could have asked.” He said. Truth be told he would have been pissed if she asked him to see the texts, but if she had just seen the text, turned towards him, and asked him who Erin was he’d explain. ”You’re the one who got ice water and sprayed me with the water gun first, so I don’t want to hear shit about me spraying you. If you had just asked me to tell you who Erin was and what our relationship was, I would have told you! I don’t have anything to hide about any of my friendships. You’re the one who made a damn reservation – you’re the one who brought looking idiot on yourself. Even though I told you that morning that for some reason, you’re the only person I want to have sex with.”

He glanced at her... she was still looking down. She burned herself at work because of this whole ordeal? He remembered her coming home smelling like ash but assumed it was part of the job. He couldn’t stop himself from looking at her arms as she spoke then to make sure there were no burns on either.

”...seriously? You burned your sleeve? You didn’t get skin, did you?” She could really be something sometimes. But she was that distracted over him, and he really didn’t know how to feel about that. On the one hand she obviously cared but on the other hand, he didn’t want her making stupid decisions that hurt herself over him. ”And if you’re trying to apologize to me, there’s two words you’ve completely forgot to mention.”

He snorted when she insisted she wasn’t jealous and just wanted to keep his attention only on her. Didn’t she just explain the very definition of jealousy? Wanting to hog all of his attention to herself... well, his sexual attention anyway. And she already had that. But he didn’t want to refute that claim. If she was jealous that had too many implications that Arthur didn’t want to deal with. The future was... he didn’t know what the future was, and to say he was scared would be an understatement. He was scared of when he and Chardonnay would have that last fight, the one that hurt them both just like the fight they’d had after that dinner he’d shown up at, and just... never get back together. The fact that she’d called him when she was out in the middle of a storm was a coincidence... he hesitated to call it lucky, but it was a coincidence. He and Chardonnay never would have continued fucking if she hadn’t called him that night. It was weird, it was... scary. Chardonnay was a regular occurrence in his life now and to have someone he was so used to seeing just stop talking to him was a scary thought.

”Yeah, well, I didn’t break any deals. I’m still single and I’m not fooling around with anyone else.” Arthur said, trying to ignore the thought in the back of his mind that he had to change that soon if he ever wanted a family. Her pout and suggestion made him roll his eyes, especially when she mentioned the staff had caught the fire before she had. Who didn’t realize they were on fire...? ”I actually like to preview my texts. I’m not used to people looking at my lock screen and getting nosy about what they see. Even Susan minds her own fucking business. And at least they’re observant when you’re not. Even though this whole miscommunication was pretty much your fault, I’d still feel pretty shitty if you got yourself hurt because of me. So just... don’t. Please.”

He watched as she sat on her butt on the floor, finding that odd. Why the hell would Chardonnay let her butt touch his floor? She wasn’t a floor type person. But then the more he thought about it, as he saw her examining the arm that had almost been burnt, she looked exhausted. There were bags underneath her eyes and he wondered if she’d even slept at all. When she looked back up at him he quirked a brow. She was so stubborn. She didn’t say she was sorry, but she did apologize. Arthur brought a hand up to his cheek and rubbed the cut on there, gently. He could feel the scab, but knew it would heal in a matter of days. It just hurt like a fucking bitch. At least, he reasoned, he could just tell Susan he’d missed while shaving.

”Okay. I accept your apology.” He said, pointedly, and she could deny it all she wanted but he knew that was what she was giving him. ”Did you get any sleep last night?”

He could answer that the reason Chardonnay was closer to his phone was because they’d shifted in the night. He wasn’t exactly sure what position they’d been in, but he was still aware of how warm something had felt in his arms, about how his breath had been brushing against someone’s skin, and how he could feel a gentle hand over his arm when he was beginning to wake up. He could only assume they’d been cuddling again, which was a position Arthur wasn’t sure how he felt about. He tried to stop his body. He knew he had a risk of getting too attached – after all that was what had happened when they had that fight. He’d gotten attached to her because she was his first, and he didn’t want to get attached to her now because sometimes she nestled up against him in the middle of the night. As much as he liked waking up with her in his arms, sometimes, he had to take a step back and realize it was her.

So in response he shrugged, and took a few steps away from Chardonnay to look at the bed. Why had she been so insistent to sleep on the couch if it made her wince and she got no sleep? She was embarrassed. Right. She felt like an idiot for thinking he lied to her. Arthur wouldn’t say it out loud but that knowledge was satisfying – that she now believed it was foolish to doubt him in that sense.

”Fine, fine. Just don’t let it happen again.” Arthur said. How the fuck would he feel if Chardonnay had never come home? And then what if she called him, told him that she was in the hospital because of a burn? He would have felt bad. He would have been concerned, no doubt, and then he – but then he had another thought: what if Chardonnay couldn’t call him, but no one knew to call him? He and Chardonnay were still a secret after all these years – only one person knew he was screwing around with someone despite Susan’s suspicions – no way would the hospital see the name ‘jackass’ in her phone and think to call him. They’d likely call her parents first. Which made sense but, he didn’t know. He didn’t like how the idea of him not knowing if something major happened to her but he brushed the thought out of his mind and instead focused on the ghost of a smile that appeared on her face when he accepted her apology. It made his own lips tilt up into a smirk as she headed to the bed, and he watched her and she nestled up underneath the covers. She looked much more comfortable there than on his couch, and he liked seeing here there. It almost made him want to crawl back into bed with her and just spend the day beside her but he wasn’t tired and he was already dressed.

”Whatever makes you happy, Sleeping Beauty,” He rolled his eyes at her comment of getting a massage, and headed towards the living room to watch something on his laptop.

After that, everything went back to relative normality. When he went out to smoke he told Chardonnay exactly why he was leaving, and never stayed out for much longer than an hour. He didn’t always go to the bridge halfway between his place and Chardonnay’s place, he often went to a park here in Salem, to just watch the waves rustle as children played in them with their parents. It was weird to see families now, especially when he realized a lot of the parents were about his age, even sometimes younger. As much as he wanted a family he didn’t want to rush it, but again, he found himself thinking of the fight he’d had with Chardonnay about Erin and how she’d react if he got a serious girlfriend. Or even told her they needed to stop seeing one another because he was going to look for a serious relationship. He wondered if she’d be angry at him for that, or confused, or even hurt... he didn’t know. He didn’t know and in that moment he realized he just didn’t want to find out.

One night after he took a detour for a cigarette in the park, he came home to find that there was no longer a hole in his wall. It surprised him for sure – he expected to see it now – but he was glad it was gone. Finally, that spoiled princess had taken care of her damages! He figured her condo must almost be done, so she had to take care of it right away. He appreciated it.

When she came home that night Arthur was sitting on his bed, arms folded across his chest, as she looked so confident and happy about fixing his wall. He didn’t congratulate her or anything but he instead just stared at her confidence in bewildered amusement. His response to her was a snorted ”It’s about time”, but he was almost silenced by her approaching him on the bed and connecting their lips in a kiss. He reciprocated, not at all objecting to the idea of having sex with her. He did make it a point to tell her that this wasn’t any damn reward for her going out and cleaning up her messes, but he wasn’t the only one who enjoyed their rolling around on his bed, so it really was a mutual reward for putting up with one another. He guessed.

That Wednesday, Arthur went to the bank with Jason. He sat down with Jason and the manager of his bank account, his heart racing a thousand times a minute. He listened to everything discussed between the other two people, and when it was time to go over the bank statements, Jason finally got to see how much Arthur had been saving up for and was impressed. In the bank account was more than Arthur needed to purchase the theater, but since they’d already signed paperwork in advance, there was no changing the amount Arthur had to pay. Still, Arthur would rather have too much money than too little money. And any excess, he figured, could be used to pay for anything else he needed in the theater.

It was a painfully long 4 and a half hours he sat there, going over file after file and expense after expense with Jason and the adviser. Arthur felt like he was going to go insane and as confident as he was, his mind kept telling him that Jason was going to think this was a mistake. He was going to say he needed more time to think this transaction over and that Arthur had yet to prove himself as a business owner. He knew she’d apologized for saying it, but those words Chardonnay spat at him during their argument ground into his mind like a nail. ”You’re nothing” was something Arthur hated to hear especially when he told himself that enough. He hated to think it, it made him feel so pathetic and whiny, especially when this was supposed to be a happy occasion. He was happy.

But at the same time, he was so scared. What if the business flopped once he bought it? What if, one bad day he had, left the business in shambles? What if Chardonnay had been right all along and he was just deluding himself into thinking he had a shot at this?

Jason cracked a joke and Arthur forced a smile but didn’t actually register what was said. He just kept drowning in his thoughts, squeezing his hands so tightly that his knuckles turned white, the voice in his head melding with anyone who’s ever told him he wasn’t good enough. Jason was regretting this decision. He had to be. He had to be because what lunatic would sell his business to some orphan who grew up in poverty?

”Arthur. Arthur? You need to sign this.” Jason’s voice snapped Arthur out of his thoughts as he looked over at Jason. He blinked, his expression slightly concerned. Arthur cleared his throat and sat up in his chair, grabbing the pen, clicking it to bring the tip out. Except, he realized, that just retracted the tip that was already out. Blushing slightly, Arthur clicked the pen again. Totally meant to do that. He brought his hand to the paper and read the document. It was the official transaction of the money in his bank account to go into Jason’s, on the condition that he was given ownership of the theater. Arthur took a deep breath before he signed his full name in trembling cursive on the line beside Jason’s name.

After they left the bank, Arthur drove Jason to the theater, expecting to get the key then and give Jason a chance to finally pack up all his things. Instead when they walked into the theater the duo were greeted with cheers and clapping, by both employees and confused patrons who joined in. They were all happy to see Arthur take over the business, but also equally as sad to see Jason give it up. At the helm of the cheerful welcome was Jasmin, celebrating both Jason’s retirement and Arthur’s taking over. The little party did well for business and a few confused kids thought it was somebody’s birthday. By the time the day was done and everyone was all clocked out, and it was just Jason and Arthur left, they were on their way out the door when Jason stopped him and pointed to the door.

The plaque that had said Jason’s name for so many years now said Arthur Summers. It took all of the acting ability he had to hide the tremble of his lips.

It was a long ride home and Arthur thanked Jason for doing all of that for him, and told him he was welcome to come to the theater at any time. Jason said thanks, but he left for Bahama the next morning! Arthur shook his head and got back home. Once he did, he curled up in the bed, and didn’t talk to Chardonnay at all. He just hugged himself under the blankets, fear and glee making an unpleasant and unwelcome cocktail in his heart. Owning the business was hard – Jasmine was given his former position as managing supervisor – and there were a lot of changes Arthur wanted to make, but as he poured over the numbers he realized some of the changes were too daunting. As stable as they were, one wrong move, one wrong investment, and he was going to ruin this business. He was smart and he could do it but in those moments his anxiety caught up with him and he sat at the desk with his head in his hands, thinking too hard about the pros and cons of every move he made, no matter how miniscule. For now, nothing changed in the way he ran things. He kept things the same, too scared of change.

The next day he was home with Chardonnay, he was in the living room, looking at some paperwork. The first change, he thought, was going to take some of that excess money the business made – money that used to go towards Jason’s personal salary – and invest in in a charity rather than raise his own pay. He would look into a new apartment soon... maybe... but for now he just wanted to donate something. Unfortunately choosing a charity was stressful and he had so many options. He didn’t want to invest in a charity that was sketchy. He would be going to all of them, one at a time. They all had a common theme – battered women’s shelters, or support systems for single mothers. That was the cause he felt most passionate about helping, after all. There were plenty of women like his sister had once been in the world, plenty of kids like he had been, and not all of them were as stubborn as Susan was or as driven as Arthur was.

Chardonnay saying something caused Arthur’s brows to raise as he looked over into the kitchen. He could smell the pancakes – they smelled delicious – and he still wasn’t sure why Chardonnay had decided to give him some food, but hey, he wasn’t going to complain.

At her demand though, he rolled his eyes and got up, closing his laptop.

”Isn’t everything a chef cooks supposed to be good by default?” He asked, but he entered the kitchen anyway. He was wearing a black undershirt, blue plaid, and dark jeans. He rose his eyebrows. ”Am I supposed to just, lick the spoon or something?”

It was still weird for Arthur to think that Chardonnay actually cared what he thought of her cooking. She was a chef and had no reason to doubt her skills and work, so why bother getting her fuckbuddy’s opinion about whether or not something was good. He stood there beside her in the kitchen, brows raised, unamused as he waited for a response. He did glance at the baking materials littered about his kitchen, though. It smelt delicious. And she had promised him some of the pancakes she was making... he wasn’t sure why. Just because?

”Okay.” He said, not understanding what she meant by the whole chain restaurants versus not chain restaurants. As far as he knew she and her father had a chain. He’d only been to her restaurant once in his lifetime and though it was fancy, he couldn’t say the less fancy restaurants his sister took him to for rare treats didn’t taste good. He probably would never understand the way Chardonnay ran her restaurant or the way she compared it to others. All he knew was that she was good, 5 star chef good, and had impossibly high standards. Over the past few days Arthur took to just agreeing with Chardonnay, his mind too distracted with his anxieties to really fight with her. So he just waited for her to give him a glob of uncooked batter to eat.

Though he was distracted when she raised her hand up and swiped some chocolate onto her finger, then sucked it. He didn’t plan to be distracted until she gave him a sultry look and – was e hallucinating or did she get closer to him – and he gripped the side of the counter just because. Jesus Christ. That got his mind to start thinking about other things she’d sucked and he had to clear his throat and focus on the god damn pancake batter to get those thoughts out of his head. He scoffed at the implications of what she said, but he was used to talking somewhat dirty with her after the years they’d been screwing. ”Yeah, yeah. You’re the germ freak, not me.”

He felt kind of stupid just licking the spoon but she didn’t seem to be giving him an opportunity to swipe it with his finger. So he just let it get close to his face, and was going to open his mouth, but then she did something he didn’t expect and smeared chocolate on his face. He closed his eyes as he felt the cool liquid stretch across his cheeks and just above his lips, giving him a ridiculous looking chocolate mustache and almost-sideburns that extended from his cheeks.

”What the fuck?!’ He spat out, stepping away from her. He lifted a hand to touch his cheek and remove some of the chocolate sauce there. He glanced at his fingers, then glared over at Chardonnay. ”The hell’d you do that for, Princess?!”

When she said something was wrong with him, Arthur paused. The fuck? He was fine! No one had said anything about how he was acting – not Susan, not Adelaide, not Maxine or Erin, and he didn’t think he was being weird. So what was Chardonnay noticing about him that other people didn’t? He knew he was stressed out lately, but was there something off in the way he was treating her? He didn’t think so, except maybe that he had less patience lately and that he hadn’t initiated sex since the time she had when she’d fixed his wall.

”How the fuck am I weird? I’m fine!” Arthur said. At least he thought he was. He looked at the mixture in the bowl, and the bit that had gotten on his hand. As Chardonnay flicked him with more droplets he growled, in the process shifting his lip to make some of the liquid making his mustache drip down into his mouth.

It tasted delicious – like a milky blend of chocolate and banana – but he didn’t have another opportunity to lick it because Chardonnay kept flicking him! Irritated now, Arthur reached up and grabbed the spoon from Chardonnay – getting the mixture on the back of her hand in the process – and then smeared the spoon across her forehead and down the bridge of her nose like war paint. He then got more of the mixture and attempted to give her a mix-mustache just like the one he now sported.

He hadn’t thought he’d been acting weird with Chardonnay – maybe a little dismissive, but not weird – and that even if he had, she would appreciate it. She’d probably like him saying she was right or just letting her do her own thing for a while. That was just how she functioned, wasn’t it? Yet here she was, picking a fight with him because he didn’t fight with her anymore? She was angry at him for just keeping to himself like they’d basically agreed to do when they started their whole temporarily living together thing? He could understand the sex thing but lately he just – he didn’t know!

”It’s not my fault I haven’t really been in the mood lately!” He fumbled for some kind of an excuse. It usually so happened that when he was just... neutral on the whole thing, and Chardonnay initiated the sex, he was willing to go along because he knew the end result would be worth it. And he loved to see her like that and make her happy. But he just – when it came to starting it right now he just – every time he thought about it there was some fear inside of himself that was telling him he was going to get rejected and it was stupid because obviously Chardonnay wanted to. But lately he just didn’t know. And it wasn’t anything to do with her. Obviously he knew she desired him and he desired her but with everything going on with his buying the theater, he felt like he just couldn’t stand the possibility of her rejecting him. It was stupid, he knew, which was why he didn’t try to explain anything to her. ”Nothing is wrong! I just – I – “ he stammered, gritting his teeth. She wanted him to yell at her? Fine. He could do that. When she told him to fuck off he just smirked and continued to smear chocolate over her face, the result a swirl of dark color on her face that looked ridiculous.

He expected for her to shriek at him and slap him, but instead he was surprised when she reached into the bowl and got a glob of the mix in her hands. When she flung it at his face Arthur closed his eyes, wincing, and the chocolate got all over his face, giving him thick globs of freckles, and he could feel some of it dripping on his scalp and into the hair of his eyebrows. Fucking great. ”Damn, it, Chardonnay!” He spat, aware he looked ridiculous and that this would take forever to get out of his hair. But, then, he looked at Chardonnay’s face and how ridiculous it looked doused in chocolate... and dipped his own hands into the mix, before he tossed some of it up at her face, aimed right towards her jaw and chin.

”It’s no one’s fault! It just happens I guess!” Arthur said, having no real other response besides that. He was satisfied when he got the chocolate on her – not just on her chin, but also on her arms. She looked ridiculous with chocolate on her jaw – like she was sporting a beard – and it was definitely a look he’d never thought he’d see Chardonnay in. ”Shut up! You’re the one who started this, and look! You’re getting my kitchen all dirty!” But even as he said that he didn’t really care, he could clean up, and besides, he had a war to win.

She took the bowl with her as she backed away, leaving Arthur armed with only the spoon he had in his hands. As she threw chocolate at him Arthur tried to block his face with his arms – resulting in his shirt getting stained. He swore and hastily started to undo the buttons, only because he didn’t want to get that shirt badly stained. It left him in the black tee shirt he’d been wearing underneath. He was too late to dodge some more chocolate coming his way and took a stain right to the chest – fortunately, the material was black. He threw his plaid shirt haphazardly across the room because he had to brace himself for the banana Chardonnay was now launching towards him.

Acting fast he lifted the spoon and caught the banana in it before it hit his forehead. And then instinct took over and he launched the banana back towards Chardonnay’s forehead instead. He was very satisfied with his quick reflexes there and it showed on his face, but he had to keep the spoon at the ready in case Chardonnay tried to launch more thing at him. He now had a shield. Sort of.

”I don’t have a problem! I’m just not always in the mood!” Arthur said, watching as the banana he flung back at Chardonnay hit her exactly where he’d wanted to hit her. Success. The banana impacted her forehead and flopped satisfyingly into the bowl of chocolate in front of her. He hadn’t envisioned this day going anything like this, and having a food fight with Chardonnay was definitely not something he thought would ever happen. But yet here he was, trying to defend himself against her. He watched as the dribble of chocolate left on her forehead from the banana ran down the contour of her nose, and the way it dripped down onto her tank top. She looked so dirty, covered in chocolate batter and with her chin and face splattered, but he liked seeing her that way. It was different. It made him want to grin at how ridiculous she looked.

But he was snapped back to reality when Chardonnay flung another bit of chocolate at him. He held the spoon up in defense and managed to save his face from getting hit, but the remainder of the mix got tangled in his hair and splattered onto his neck and the shoulder of his shirt. He tried to fling some of the chocolate back, but just wound up hitting Chardonnay’s clothes, not her face like he’d intended. Damn. ”This is your fault!” he said, and it was. He wouldn’t be having this food fight with Chardonnay if she hadn’t called him into the kitchen to make this mess.

He almost didn’t expect her next throw and he was too late to dodge it this time – the mix landed on his forehead and mingled in with his hair, dripping down his nose and towards his jaw. He opened his eyes after the damage was dealt and he could feel it dripping lower. He tried to take a step back but almpst slipped, and had to steady himself on the counter – but as he did that his fingers brushed against something and he turned around. He saw the other bowl of mixture.

He had to steady himself first, but once he did, he grabbed the bowl and stuck his chocolatey spoon into it, getting a big glob of goo inside of it, and then he flung it at Chardonnay’s head, aiming to mar up her forehead again because she’d cleaned the damage of the banana up.

”I – “ Arthur didn’t know how to respond to that. He honestly didn’t. Of all people to pick up something being wrong with him, he didn’t think Chardonnay would. And besides that, it wasn’t ‘wrong’ per say – buying the business was a good thing – it was just his own nervousness catching up to him. But then he thought about how harshly she’d said if he couldn’t handle stress he couldn’t handle a business and he just clammed up. He couldn’t tell Chardonnay he was worried about messing up. Likely, she’d laugh at him, or just say he really wasn’t cut out for this at all.

Instead of thinking about those thoughts, though, he focused on watching Chardonnay try to dodge his attacks and watched as her tank top became splattered with brown filling. Watching as the chocolate dripped from her face down to her chest, and vanished down into her cleavage, gave him an urge to reach over, pull her top off, and lick it off of her, or kiss it off of her. He wondered what her skin would taste like, when accented with the sweet filling he’d already tasted a few drops of. But he wasn’t going to do that, not what Chardonnay still looked apprehensive and armed with the mixture. As unsanitary as he thought eating food off of another person would be, having an excuse to actually move slower than he usually did along her body to feel her moving underneath him... that sounded like a good idea. He shook his head, splattering chocolate sauce around him. He scoffed at Chardonnay’s comment. ”What, and let your spoiled ass win this fight?” He asked. Like hell he was going to let that happen.

His eyes lit up at the challenging glare in her eyes. Though they fought often about trivial things, it was rare he saw that challenging glint in her eyes if her end goal wasn’t to hurt him like how she had after the dinner with her parents and his boss. ”fuck!” He said as another burst of chocolate came his way. He barely had time to ‘dodge’ and got splattered with chocolate all over his chest and exposed arms. He raised his bowl to try and launch another attack towards her but was caught off guard when she came closer to him and started to fall – and instinctively he reached out to grab her, except he was holding the mix in his other hand. The end result was Chardonnay slipping into his arms and awkwardly pressing him into the counter. The bowl in his other hand sprung up awkwardly, the mix cascading down over Arthur’s shoulder, dripping down towards Chardonnay’s face which was nearly on his chest.

Now both of the cups of mixture were on Arthur’s floor, ruined. A silence loomed over the two of them, and Arthur blinked, taking in Chardonnay’s sticky and chocolatey appearance. It looked like she was sporting a beard and her clothes were ruined. He was still holding her with one hand on her waist. His other hand had slipped up her back, smearing mixture all up it in his attempt to not let her fall. He himself was awkwardly leaning on the counter, his legs spread slightly so that she was between them due to the mixture making him slip.

Arthur took a few seconds to register all of this. This was so dumb. His floor was horribly slippery. He was covered in mix, his soaked clothes were sticking to his body in odd, uncomfortable ways. Chardonnay looked the most slobby he’d ever seen her, and the liquid of the mix was still dripping from her face to her torso. The mix was no longer cookable. He couldn’t believe she’d let this happen. She looked so ridiculous!

And before he realized it he started laughing hysterically, bringing up his hand on Chardonnay’s back to block his lips. As he laughed he realized he hadn’t had any kind of fun since he’d bought the business from Jason. Sure he’d had a few laughs at a video but nothing that made his cheeks flush like they were now and his eyes squeeze shut, as his face lit up with a smile he tried to hide behind his hand. He wound up getting more chocolate on his lips that way, but that was fine. He tried to calm down but that just made him laugh harder, and he expected Chardonnay to start screaming at him any minute. His other hand stayed locked on Chardonnay’s waist, still holding her there, making sure she didn’t slip due to the mix. Finally he could open his eyes and look at her – but that just made him laugh again because she looked so ridiculous!

Everything about this situation was fucking stupid. He was going to have to clean this up. The mess on the floor, the mix on his body, the mix on his counters. And the fact he was laughing. He couldn’t even explain why he suddenly felt such an urge to laugh! He should be getting mad at Chardonnay but he was instead distracted by the way she looked, smothered in batter from the pancakes, with it sticking to her hair and clothes. The prim and proper princess, who never looked sloppy except when she was rolling around in the sheets, looked like she just rolled around in mud and sand for an hour. He didn’t even realize that she could hear him and see him laugh, he just continued to do so because he couldn’t stop.

The only thing that almost made him stop was when he heard another sound echoing with his own – her laugh. That was a sound he’d never heard before despite their years screwing and he opened his eyes to look at her face, which was pulled into a beautiful smile despite the chocolate smearing her lips and jaw. For the second he saw her eyes they were lit up with life, before she closed her eyes and pressed her forehead into his chest, giggling against it while she shook her head. He didn’t care that she was smearing sauce across his chest and ruining his shirt further. He kept holding her in place because the floor was still slippery. His laughter faded into a grin as he looked down at her head, distracted by the sound he wanted to keep hearing until she calmed down and gripped his shoulders, straightening herself up. Despite that motion Arthur didn’t remove his hand from her waist, and just looked at her with a grin on his face. He couldn’t stop grinning, even when it was Chardonnay he was looking at. Actually, it was because it was Chardonnay he was looking at. Even though he goofed off with his sister and niece at times, they’d never had a food fight quite this scale before. Besides, not even Susan had tried to force her company on him lately. It was because of this weird incident that he didn’t feel as crappy as he had been feeling earlier. Which was weird, again. But he’d take it.

He watched as she wiped her eyes and rose her eyebrows at him, and rose his in return. Except that was when he realized that his eyebrows were dripping. He made a face, and brought his other hand up to feel his eyebrow. It came away sticky and brown.

”Gross. It’s like someone took a shit on my face.” He commented. He removed his hand from her waist then, and when she let out another laugh the grin was back, because how could he not grin when he saw her smile like that at him? ”What did we just do? You’re the one who started the food fight! And you look worse than the kitchen right now, honestly.” He brought a hand up and slid it down her jawline, coming away with a glob of chocolate syrup on his finger. He licked it, and shrugged. ”Still tastes good, though.”

When she lightly – almost playfully – swat him in the shoulder Arthur rose his eyebrows at her. She was going to get mad he equated the shit-like batter to shit? Anything brown, thick, and sticky was obviously going to be equated to shit. That was just a fact of life. She didn’t keep her hand off of his shoulder, though, which he appreciated though he didn’t say. It was... different to be touched by her and not have the touch be sexual or, in the case of when she was angry at him, violent. It was part of the reason he usually wore button downs when he knew he was going to have sex with her – he just liked the feeling of being touched. It was weird, at least to him, especially since he liked being touched by her most of all.

”Me? You’re helping me clean this kitchen, Princess. That was part of the deal for you staying here. You cook things in the kitchen, you clean them up. Besides, this mess wouldn’t be here if you didn’t call me to lick your spoon!” He said, though even her saying he should clean the kitchen didn’t get his smile to go away. He really didn’t know how she’d managed to make him feel less crappy when part of the reason he had felt that way had been his mind flashing back to the way she talked to him during their big fight. How had she known there was something weird about him? He didn’t think he’d acted any differently than he normally did. So either he wasn’t as good at faking it as he thought he was, or she was just really observant. And for her to take note of how he acted was just... odd. But, then, thinking about her calling him out on being weird and smiling at him like this, their bodies close together, made him remember what she said when he’d picked her up from the storm. ”you won’t be a nothing”. It was so weird to remember her saying that to him when, for a long time, that was all she ever called him (besides a Jackass). But that was why it stuck out to him. That was why it was important to him. Not because it was her specifically – but because she’d changed her mind about him at some point.

He grinned more at her reaction to him wiping the chocolate off of her jaw – who knew he could have that sort of effect on her too – and after she came back to reality he looked around his kitchen to view the damages.

The kitchen was a mess. His counters were smeared with chocolate and the floor was virtually unrecognizable. There were smears of banana and goop all over the stove and table, and he was now conscious of how his shirt stuck to his body. As much as he just wanted to focus on cleaning their bodies for now – involving less soap and scrubbing and more kissing and licking – if he didn’t clean up the kitchen soon it was going to stain. He turned back towards Chardonnay and snorted, placing his hands back on her waist.

”I’m not letting you get away until you agree to help me clean up the kitchen.” He said.