The Dramatic Spiel of Arthur and Chardonnay~ (7,140 views)

He could probably give her the time she took care of him when he got drunk. That time was still ridiculously embarrassing to him for numerous reasons, and he didn’t know why she hadn’t left him in the dust. It still confused him, really. She said she hadn’t wanted him to die but she wasn’t a nice person. He knew that. She didn’t usually care that much and if he got his drunk ass hurt then she probably could have laughed at him about it later when he sobered up. The fact she was trying to get him to stop smoking was arguable – that one made Arthur roll his eyes but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to fight about that right now. Not when she was obviously cramping up and he was tired from just having woken up. The last incident made him snort because she had to scramble for something.

”Yeah, for your cookbook testing thing. Most of your ‘nice’ things have been for getting something in return. Have you even cooked me anything since? Not really.” He said. Though it wasn’t like he asked for anything. Sometimes when he went into the fridge he saw the contents – veggies and stuff all for Chardonnay, none for him. He didn’t keep much food in there so she dominated the kitchen. When she suggested him bleeding out of the dick for a month he scrunched up his nose and made a face, shaking his head. ”Nope. I’d rather not bleed. Watching you suffer is good enough for me. And I’m more amused by your reaction to me than I am your cramps. You should’ve seen your face when you saw the box.”

At her proposition for extra sex – or that that was his goal – Arthur could have believed it except when she suggested sex while on her period. That got him to make a disgusted face. He was fine with periods in general, he guessed, but having sex with someone on their period? That sent an uncomfortable shiver up his spine.

”No! God no. I’m not putting my dick anywhere that’s bleeding. What the fuck are even ‘red wings’? Besides, seeing blood down there is kind of a turn off. We aren’t screwing again until you’re off it.” Arthur said. People did that – had sex on their period? Wouldn’t that stain the sheets and not to mention... besides, the mental image of the condom being soaked with blood after he was done just made his stomach lurch uncomfortably. He tried to shake the thoughts off and then focused on Chardonnay’s face, looking at the little smirk tugging her lips up. Seeing that expression on her was enough to get his to come back. ”And no. It’s 25 cents every 5.”

As she said that she didn’t have to give him food, he would have retorted if she didn’t wince again. Seeing her wince took way the fire that was starting to kindle in his stomach. He didn’t like seeing her in pain very much, and he wasn’t surprised to think that. Though it was odd for her to be in pain around him. He’d seen many expressions on her since they’d been fucking – for solid years – but she rarely let pain show. There were the fights they had, when she was screaming and maybe there was some pain there, but it was always masked by another emotion. Now it was there, she couldn’t hide it from him, and he had to resist the urge to start acting like a nurse.

”Right. Well. It’s not like you fed me just for the sake of feeding me.” He said, though he didn’t really care to be fed by her if she didn’t want to. Food, while good food was good, didn’t give him happiness to just consume. He didn’t know. He just didn’t fuss much over meals like so many other people did. He felt he had more important things to do with his time, sometimes, to ensure he got three meals a day which sometimes resulted in him feeling faint at work when he realized he forgot to bag a lunch. Sometimes he went out to get food at McDonalds on his break, and sometimes he just worked through it and ate when he got home. He scoffed at her comment. ”And what the hell would I ever need that you’d give me?”

The only thing he could think of were cigarettes, but if her reaction to him smoking was any indication, she’d never give him cigarettes. And her comment about most guys not knowing what tampons were made him roll his eyes. ”Most guys know what they are. They just choose to ignore it because they find it gross. Look, when you’ve lived with a woman for your entire life, you figure out what a period is. And besides – I don’t get why tampons are gross. Awkward, yeah, the first time I bought them it was awkward. But gross? I don’t really see it. There’s probably a reason it’s mostly prepubescent kids who’ve never touched a vagina in their life that get grossed out by it.”

”There’s a word for it?” Arthur furrowed his brow and looked at Chardonnay. He wasn’t... surprised... and he hated that he wasn’t. How was that arousing? Admittedly when she said he wouldn’t have to worry about her mounting him for the next week, ish, he was a little sad but not because of the whole period thing, just because he liked sex. When she said she PMSed pretty badly, Arthur wasn’t surprised.

”Oh. So what you’re telling me is that nothing will be different then?” He teased, and snorted at her comment. ”Well maybe I’m just giving you a discount. Because I’m a nice fucking person. So do you want me to grab you pills or not?”

She could say that she’d fed him for his sake all she wanted to, but all that did was make Arthur roll his eyes and fold his arms tighter across his torso. Even if she didn’t have to make the recipes she had to make sure they worked, right? So she had to make them either way. The fact that she fed him was just so the food didn’t go to waste – and he’d much prefer eating her food than allowing her to throw it away anyway – but rather on commenting on that and trying to rile her up, he just let his eyebrows raise towards his hairline at her comment about him not feeding himself. He remembered what she said years ago, when they first started fucking around. She didn’t want to fuck some guy who had ribs she could see. Arthur could understand that; someone that skinny was a turn off to her, he guessed.

He bushed that off with another ”yeah, well,” and let that go until she answered his rhetorical question so straightforwardly that his jaw dropped for a second, he blinked rapidly, and then a flush started to crawl up his cheeks. ”That was not the kind of help I meant! Because I don’t need your vagina! It’s not like I need to ejaculate in someone or – in – something I mean, that’s not the same as needing tampons, that’s just fun, or, something,” He felt the blush getting worse as he scrambled for words, flustered. Her laughter hadn’t helped his embarrassment and this was not the conversation he wanted to have with Chardonnay when she was on her period. The only saving grace to this whole conversation was that Chardonnay was just as flustered as he was, apparently, but she remembered to talk.

When she called periods gross Arthur shrugged. ”If you don’t stain anything, they’re not that bad. But I guess I don’t go through them, so.” The first time he saw one he remembered thinking his sister had gotten stabbed in the middle of the night. When he confronted her while she was trying to do laundry bent over with cramps, well, that was one of the most awkward conversations of both their lives. Not only had she explained the concept of a period to his 11-year-old ass, but she also had to give him the sex talk, which he at the time felt as though he could have done without.

He honestly didn’t have any plans today – except file some reports, but he could do that at any time – so he started to move back towards the door to get himself ice cream and maybe Chardonnay pills. Or, he was going to, until she complained. He turned back towards her and snorted at the gleam in her eyes. What, she was the one who was going to suffer if she didn’t get pills. He didn’t know what she was smirking about. ”I don’t buy cheap pills. I don’t want to die that bad. Have fun suffering – meanwhile I’m getting ice cream. Do you want any of that or are you too good for that too, Princess?”

When she started to laugh at him Arthur frowned, his embarrassment growing.

”Leave me alone! Talking about your period and talking about the fact that we have sex are two entirely different things!” Well... not really, he guessed. Periods meant that you weren’t pregnant, and if she got her period while they were having sex (figuratively, not literally) that was a good thing. When she told him a sock or a hand couldn’t give him the same feeling he felt his ears and neck join his face in going scarlet, because he knew it was true (with his hand anyway) and he hated that he knew it was true. He needed to get out of this conversation immediately – he didn’t want to get flustered and worked up when there was definitely no possibility of sex afterwards... and when Chardonnay was laughing at him like that. And to think when he came in here with the tampons, she’d been the one to get flustered! Shit, why was he so bad at keeping the cool and composed one? He’d been touching and feeling her vagina for years, why the hell did talking about it still fluster him like this? It likely always would, with any vagina, no matter how much sex he had, and that annoyed Arthur. Her threat, though, made him scrunch up his face.

”...are you seriously threatening to bleed on my shit if I piss you off? That’s just unsanitary. And who’s the one who gets anal about things not being up to ‘par’ for them here? You’d just be fucking yourself over.” Well, that and he could kick her out. That was a good excuse to do so. But, somehow, Arthur knew he wouldn’t be able to kick her out no matter how much she pissed him off. Unless she put his life in danger, he wouldn’t kick her out. Knowing that annoyed him, but he’d never tell Chardonnay that. Ever.

When she said that she didn’t need ice cream and expressed shock he spent decent money on pills Arthur rolled his eyes. Really. Whatever, fine. More ice cream for him. Fuck Chardonnay. He wondered if there was ice cream flavored like the wine. Susan probably would eat a whole tub of that when not on her period. ”Fine. Go make your own ice cream and pills. Can’t say I didn’t try.”

He shook his head and left the room, without looking back at Chardonnay, to get the ice cream out of his kitchen flavor. He then reached up to grab a bowl from the cabinet, and started scooping the ice cream into his bowl. Yup. Fuck Chardonnay – he’d have this whole tub himself. Not now, though. Over the period of a week or so. Once he was done that, he put the tub back in the freezer, shut the door, and grabbed a spoon from his drawers as he headed towards the living room.

Chardonnay could get sarcastic all she wanted with him, but Arthur didn’t care. He offered to get her pills and instead she gave him sass, so she could just get the pills herself. He already was nice enough to get her those tampons, when she had still yet to repair that hole in his wall that she’d damaged by getting aggressive with her phone! She was a piece of work sometimes.

Well, he’d done the same thing before. His phone had borne the anger of arguments with his friends and sister, his anger at his coworkers and himself, and a lot more. But he never damaged the wall when he got mad. The reason there was a crack in his phone was because of his temper. He had to explain the damage in his wall to Susan by saying that it was himself, the same instance he’d cracked his screen at, and he was lucky Susan bought it. Of course afterwards, she tried to sign him up for anger management classes, which he adamantly refused. He hated the idea of those stupid classes. He managed to get angry just fine on his own. So what if he got a little violent with his objects? He never got violent with people (unless they deserved it, like those assholes he’d picked fights with in school) and he sure as fuck never raised a hand to someone dissociated from his problems like his sister or niece. He couldn’t stand people who lashed out at those who didn’t deserve it. The thought of those people existing was enough to make Arthur’s skin crawl – he sure as fuck wasn’t going to sit in a class with them as they tried to learn to control their monstrous urges.

With Chardonnay wallowing in her period-cramp induced pain in his bedroom, Arthur went to the living room and grabbed his laptop. He booted it up and flicked through the open tabs on his browser until he found the show he was currently watching. He unpaused the video, dealt with some technical difficulties due to the computer having been in sleep mode, and then got it to play. He popped his earbuds into his ears as he ate his ice cream and read subtitles.

About five minutes into his second episode, Arthur noticed Chardonnay emerging from the bedroom. He didn’t acknowledge her. She told him to leave her alone while she was potentially PMSing and as much as he joked about there being nothing different about her, he didn’t want to deal with her getting too moody on him. Not to mention how he couldn’t just shut her up with a kiss – not if he wanted it to lead to sex anyway. He fast-forwarded through the opening of the show, and then he heard something that gave him pause – the freezer opening. There was only one thing in there, and he paused the video and slowly turned around.

He saw Chardonnay with her back towards him, bent over... something. Scooping... something. The sight made Arthur smirk to himself as he quietly got up out of the chair, snuck up behind Chardonnay, and peered over her shoulder to see what she was doing. When he saw she was scooping ice cream, his smirk turned to a grin as he leaned closer to her ear.

”Caught you.” He said, amused, before he leaned back and moved away. His smirk just grew even more amused when he saw her trying to hide the ice cream and bowl. Did she think he was that unobservant? ”So I guess you take back what you said before about this ice cream probably not being good, huh?”

Arthur didn’t look apologetic as Chardonnay jumped and dropped her spoon, and then accused him of trying to give her a heart attack. She wasn’t wrong – he had definitely wanted to surprise her! He was still grinning in amusement as she was caught red-handed with the ice cream tub in front of her as she failed to scoop it with the spoon. It was a pretty comical sight.

”Yeah, I was. But then I heard you getting crap out of my freezer and had to see if my mind was playing tricks on me.” He glanced down at the bowl of ice cream she’d gotten for herself. As much as he was teasing her about it now, he actually really liked that she had gotten some of it. Though he’d convinced himself he bought it for himself, he wouldn’t have thought it worth anything to buy ice cream if it wasn’t for Chardonnay curled up in pain on his bed. ”It matters to me because you’re eating your words right now. I thought you didn’t want any of my ice cream – looks like you changed your mind. Well. Help yourself. I’m not going to eat it all.”

He followed her finger towards his laptop, and shrugged. ”I paused the video, I’m not missing much. This is a rarer sight to see than anything on my computer, anyway.”

Arthur couldn’t stop grinning even as Chardonnay slammed the door behind her and went to settle in his room. She was such a spoiled princess sometimes – but lately he round that less annoying and more amusing. He could predict that much about her, that she was spoiled, so spoiled she didn’t even put the tub of ice cream. Arthur rolled his eyes and put it back for her, then stared at his door. Funny. He was so used to her now. Back in High School and even in college he never would have seen that natural side of her but here he was, with her stealing his ice cream and nestled up in his bed while she dealt with period cramps. Sometimes he took quiet moments to pause and think about his life and what led him to this point. Most of the time, he tried to shake them off because he had no idea what it meant that she was still a huge part of his life.

The week rolled on pretty steadily. Arthur went into work every day for 11, and at work, he found himself dealing with a lot of paperwork. He had to make phone calls to the providers that they had for the company to tell them about the upcoming change in ownership – but Arthur was pleased to find out that most of them already knew him. He handled most of the outreach after he graduated college for Jason anyway. He left work that day in a good mood. Though the good mood dampened slightly when he saw that Chardonnay was still in his apartment, limiting where he could smoke.

He took another drive then, telling Chardonnay he’d be back later that night. He went to his favorite spot now – that bridge halfway between his place and hers – and watched the sunset there with a cigarette between his lips. He was almost done his cigarette when he got a text and ignored it, assuming it was from Chardonnay bitching about something. But then he got another and checked, seeing two texts from Erin. Apparently, she needed a ride – there was another situation like the one where she’d been left at the bar. Arthur rolled his eyes and called her a fucking idiot but extinguished his cigarette and got into his car and drove to the bar to pick her up.

She was grinning when he arrived and told him proudly that she got her best friend laid. Arthur snorted at that, and drove back to her apartment. On the way Erin told him all about the newest show she was watching, one Arthur hadn’t watched yet, and Erin asked him if he wanted to come over and binge watch the show. Arthur hesitated because of work but she insisted and so that Tuesday night, Arthur came home close to 11 at night. He told Chardonnay he went to a friend’s house if she asked – he saw no need to lie to her about it.

But after that he didn’t go back to Erin’s place. There were no more pleas for him to come pick her up from somewhere and they mostly just talked about the show they were now both watching. He stayed at his apartment, and after the incident with the ice cream and tampons, Arthur found himself less annoyed with Chardonnay than he had been previously. He wound up waking up closer to her. The first night it happened he woke up with his body facing her and his forehead almost touching hers. He separated before she could wake. The next morning he was somewhat aware of a warmth being pressed up against him in the morning, but by the time he woke up, it was gone. The third night he woke up to one arm around her, and before he took it away, he saw her hair strung about her face and brushed it away from her mouth. When she was sleeping she was quiet and beautiful – he didn’t have to worry about her screaming at him or getting mad at him for anything. He forced himself to stop looking at her enough to get out of his bed and go take a shower, where he tried to push off the thoughts of how nice it was to wake up with her so close to him. He knew how he was, he knew what he wanted in the future, and he knew Chardonnay didn’t want it. He wasn’t stupid. It was just for their bodies seeking warmth. They were not getting more at ease with one another. He needed to take a step back and think about it in the cold shower he forced himself to take.

Saturday night, Jasmin asked Arthur if he’d come in the next day. He said yes, and so he had every intention of going to work the next day. He was getting used to working Sundays now and going into work every day except Monday. Jason told him that he had free reign to come and go as he pleased when he bought the business – as the owner, he would just have to make sure the place was in order and that he made business calls and did the paperwork. But Arthur took that as ‘you can come in every day if you want’ and the only reason he kept taking Mondays off was so that... he didn’t know. He didn’t have to leave Chardonnay alone? When she left, he reasoned, it’d make sense for him to keep Mondays off if they continued to hook up. Speaking of hooking up – that night he’d been particularly irritable and when he learned Chardonnay was off of her period, he shut up their argument that night in a kiss that quickly led to sex. After having gone for over a week without it, it felt great, and he went to bed with his face turned towards Chardonnay and a smile on his face.

Arthur shifted in his sleep, unaware that his arm was slung across Chardonnay. His front was to her back, and his face was by her shoulder and ear. He could smell her shampoo and perfume, even as they slept. His breathing was even as he didn’t stir, comfortable where he was. Usually he woke up first when they were close, but sometimes he didn’t. He didn’t know if when he didn’t wake up first if they were in positions like this. He didn’t ask Chardonnay and she didn’t tell him – but then, he never told her about the times he woke up first. That was just something... they didn’t need to talk about, he guessed. He grunted in his sleep and shifted again, oblivious to his phone vibrating on the nightstand.

Because of their shift in the night, his phone was nearer to Chardonnay than it was to him. The phone stopped, and it was a text from his sister wishing him good morning and telling him about a weird dream she’d had involving cantaloupes and watermelon. A few minutes later, it vibrated again, but this time the text wasn’t from Susan.

Hey last time was fun! You should come over again soon, the message cut off on his lock screen, but the rest of it talked about how there were new episodes out of the show now and that they had to finish it because the series was complete. All that was visible was her name and the preview message sitting comfortably above Susan’s text to him earlier.

Arthur had still yet to awaken, despite the loud buzzing of his phone on the nightstand. He was too tired from the week he’d had and the bed he was lying in was too comfy. Had he been in his old bed, he probably would have gotten up before Chardonnay due to the uncomfortable material digging in his back. But he was so comfortable and warm, with his arms wrapped around something that he hadn’t yet registered was Chardonnay, that he didn’t feel the need to get up. He’d never tell her, but the new mattress she’d bought for his apartment was really nice. It almost made him fear he was getting too spoiled when he lied on it on lazy mornings like this. He had work to go to, he should probably check his phone, but all he could think about right now was staying where he was and nuzzling the side of his face further against the warm shoulder he was touching. It felt nice to have the feeling of someone else’s skin against his bare chest, even if there was no sex happening. He just... liked it. He liked it, and half asleep, he didn’t question it.

The first thing that started him waking up was when the warmth he’d been holding got out of his arms. He let out a half-asleep noise of protest, but he was so tired that he just let the protest fall and let his fingers clutch the sheets beside him where Chardonnay had been lying a few minutes before. It was still warm, and it still smelled like her, though the scent was no longer as strong as he had been when he’d had his nose nuzzled against her shoulder. But now he was semi-awake, knowing he should get up and check his phone soon. Lazily he whacked at the bed beside him until he rolled over and fondled his phone – oddly enough, it was in the sheets behind him – and he cracked open one eye to look at the names. Susan, Erin... nothing important though. Arthur flopped back with his head on the pillow and tried to go back to sleep.

He could hear the rustling of something in the closet and kitchen but he was used to those sounds. Over the past month he’d slowly grown used to having Chardonnay in his space, and hearing her move about his apartment while he was just doing his own thing. It was weird when he stopped to think about it, but when he didn’t and just let it happen, it was kind of nice. Especially since there was still a pleasant tingle going throughout his body and that he could already tell today was going to be great.

The assault of cold water on his back caused Arthur to scream in surprise and sit up, his heart pounding in his chest as he felt his hair grow damp as well. He honestly didn’t have any inkling of what could be doing this to him and he sat up in the bed, turning to look at Chardonnay with wide, irritated eyes. When he saw the perpetrator was her, his irritation grew to anger as he stormed out of bed and untangled his legs from the sheets. He walked right over to her and snatched the gun from her hands, and had half a mind to break it. Chardonnay was a piece of work sometimes, but waking him up from a pleasant slumber with this was a new low for her! He took a step closer to her, getting in her face.

”What the fuck is your problem?!” He snapped. He was angry at her but it wasn’t the type of anger that made him want to kiss her and shove her against the wall. It was the same anger he felt when he first met her – the anger at the fact she was so spoiled, so entitled and selfish that she would do this to him. He didn’t even have an inkling of what her motivation was! Was her PMSing really this bad? If that was the case Jesus Christ, she should have gotten a hotel for the week! Though she was off the period now, they’d screwed last night. So why the hell was she lashing out at him so violently? He didn’t get it, and now he was shivering from the ice water crawling down his back and soaking his hair.

Arthur expected for her to keep screaming at him, but he didn’t expect for her to slap him. Arthur was surprised when she did that but that only fueled his anger more. She had no right to slap him! She was a guest in his apartment, and here she was, spritzing him with water, and this time not for some reason like smoking. No, she was pissed because... why? Because she saw his phone? What the fuck was she looking at his phone for anyway! That was his business and it didn’t involve her at all!

His cheek still stung from the slap and he snarled, rubbing the skin with one of his hands, the water gun still in his hands as he glared at Chardonnay. God, he had such an urge to snap this stupid thing in half, make snap it on top of her spoiled, bratty little head.

”I didn’t break any deals! I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about but you’re the one snooping through my goddamn texts! I’m allowed to have friends! I talk to people other than you! I know that might be shocking given you have no friends at all, but it’s possible to actually like someone and not screw them! I’m not seeing anyone else, I’m spending time with my friends,” He grit his teeth together and narrowed his eyes at her anger. How the hell would Chardonnay know Erin, why would she care?! Arthur couldn’t think of any reason. It was just a person, someone he talked to, someone who he actually enjoyed hanging out with outside of wanting to screw. God, this was ridiculous. He took the water gun up and aimed it at Chardonnay, pulling the trigger and squirting her right in the face. He hoped some of the gross ice-water got in her mouth. It’d serve her fucking right. ”Whatever the fuck I do with my friends is none of your business, you’re not my girlfriend, so back off!”

Arthur rolled his eyes as she denied the possibility of him having friends – and he’d deny it, but her questioning that anyone would want to be friends with him, or would want him for something other than his body, stung – and he didn’t understand her anger. Why the hell was she so mad?! He explained that they were just friends. He still talked to Erin, and Maxine, and Jasmine who despite being his coworker he considered a friend, but he wasn’t attracted to any of them like he was attracted to Chardonnay. Sure, they were all attractive women in their own right, but Arthur just never found anyone as attractive as he found Chardonnay. Not in this moment, though. In this moment she was infuriating, and the last person he wanted to see, naked or otherwise.

It was satisfying to see her take a mouthful of water, though, and even if the water dripped down onto his carpet and made a mess it still made him satisfied to see her just as soaked as he was now. Though her top was sticking to her form now Arthur wasn’t distracted by trying to sneak a peek – he’d seen her naked plenty before and right now, was too irritated to make a move on her or let his gaze wander. When she tilted the gun upwards Arthur stopped pulling the trigger, the water stopping, leaving the both of them dripping and freezing while they glared at one another. Arthur could feel a throb on his cheek where Chardonnay had struck him and prayed to fuck she didn’t leave a mark. He didn’t know – despite years of watching her do it – how to blend her foundations together to match his skin tone, nor did he even know how to apply it. And she definitely wouldn’t hide this for him. What if her nails cut his cheek? Arthur held one of his hands up to his cheek to feel for any cuts as he grimaced.

Of course she had zero intention of being his girlfriend. Arthur rolled his eyes at that, though as she questioned his relationship with Erin it made him realize they’d be ending soon. Maybe this was the beginning of the end for their fuckbuddy relationship.

”It’s called caring about someone! It’s valuing someone as a person, not just objectifying them, not just wanting one thing out of them! But you’re so fucking selfish, you wouldn’t know anything about that! So I’m not going to try and explain it to someone who obviously doesn’t care. But I don’t want to date Erin! We are just friends!” Why the hell couldn’t she get it? If she was so pissed why didn’t she just go, leave, she wasn’t his girlfriend and would never be anything more than his fuckbuddy so if it annoyed her this much, why was she still here? He glared back at her, and either didn’t realize there was hurt mixed in her expression or was too irritated to see it. ”If the fact I have friends bothers you enough that you want to drench me in fucking ice water, maybe you should start looking for a fucking hotel!”

Arthur couldn’t even beat her to the bathroom. Before he could storm in there and occupy the room, her spoiled ass had gotten in there. He swore and kicked the door when it locked, but otherwise didn’t try to get inside. He just spat out a ”fuck you” and went to go gather his crap for work. Which started earlier than Chardonnay’s did. She still, inconsiderately, took a shower before him even though she knew that he had to go in first! Fucking seriously... he was freezing.

Now that he was alone in the room, dripping wet, he came to see the damage she’d caused. He still had the stupid water gun in his hands – which he definitely was throwing away after this – but his sheets were soaked. And the mattress, too, likely retained some water! And it was on his side, too! Fuck Chardonnay. She was such a fucking bitch, he didn’t know why he put up with her. He angrily had to go around to the other side of the bed and gather up all the sheets. He couldn’t leave the damn things out, so he had to take care of them. Now. When he had to go to the theater in an hour and a half. Great. Fucking great. By the time Chardonnay was out of the shower Arthur had already called up Jasmin and told her a pipe leaked and he had to take care of damages before he came in, so he’d be a little late. He was pretty sure Jasmin didn’t believe him, but the anger in his voice was genuine enough to make her not ask.

Fuck Chardonnay. She didn’t believe they were friends? What, was he unlovable in her eyes? He scoffed at the thought but it probably wasn’t far from the truth. All Chardonnay thought of him was that he was attractive – her anger was because he was seeing someone else and that he had kept it from her – and now his sheets were soaked and still smelled like the sex from last night. God. How the fuck did she go from making him feel so happy and comfortable with himself and then, 8 hours later, make him feel so crappy? Whatever it was, Arthur didn’t want it. He wanted off of her crazy roller coaster ride. He was still in his apartment, gathering his drenched sheets in his hands when Chardonnay finally left for work. He didn’t say a word to her. He knew the water was going to be cold so he didn’t bother to take a shower and make himself more miserable. She thought he was a whore, too. She accused him of going out every damn night to go have a good time! No! He went out every fucking night to go smoke a cigarette somewhere this entitled girl wasn’t armed with a water gun. And then other times he’d gone to see his sister, his niece, the two people who meant the world to him. She was stupid if she thought he was off screwing Erin.

By the time he finally drove his Jeep to the theater, it was 1 PM. He entered and Jasmin looked relieved to see him – they were swamped. Arthur cursed to himself, but immediately jumped on board to help his employees get through the shift. Unfortunately it was some school holiday so a lot of little kids were there with their parents. But these kids were all loud, screaming, and their parents were tired and cranky. Arthur had to deal with customer after customer and by the time he got to sit down in his office it was 6 PM and the afternoon shift was trading places with the evening shift. He sighed and stared at Jason’s nametag on the desk. He noticed Jasmin inviting herself into the room and didn’t acknowledge her. She asked him why he had a cut on his swollen cheek and Arthur snorted. Fuck Chardonnay.

He actually hadn’t looked at Erin’s message yet, now that he thought about it. He ignored Jasmin, told her it was nothing, and dismissed her. He read over the text from Erin and saw the complete message: Hey last time was fun! You should come over again soon so we can watch the second season!!! It just ended last season so it should all be online. He rolled his eyes, not at the content, but at the fact this was what got Chardonnay so pissed off. Why the hell would she care anyway?! She needed to get over herself!

The rest of the shift was painful. Arthur sat in his office for most of it because when he tried to go out on the floor after the morning rush, he was pissed. He was so pissed off he started to get curt with the part-timers and even told Jasmin off. After he did that, the woman leveled her gaze at him until Arthur realized what he’d done and apologized, going out to the patio for a smoke break. If Jasmin didn’t buy the pipe leaking story before, she did now, after seeing Arthur’s aggressive mood.

He breathed in the smoke and tried not to think about rationalizing Chardonnay’s anger. She had no reason to be angry. Why did she assume that Erin was someone he was screwing? Just because he’d kissed the girl once, but Chardonnay didn’t know – wait. Wait. She knew that.

Arthur paused as he held the cigarette between his fingers. He’d almost forgotten that dinner from years ago, the precedent to their biggest fight. When Jason asked about a girlfriend he mentioned Erin. And then when Chardonnay brought it up in the argument, Arthur mentioned trying to date her, kissing her... he hated the fact that he could almost rationalize her anger in that moment. No. it was still dumb! She didn’t have the right to squirt him. Even if she knew he had almost dated her, shouldn’t she be happy? This meant that he was still talking to someone who might one day be serious about him. He and Chardonnay could screw like this, and then maybe Arthur would fall in love with Erin eventually. Falling in love with someone... he didn’t know why the thought made his stomach churn. He didn’t know what love would be like, but he knew it meant he and Chardonnay would really be over. And as much as he hated her right now, as pissed off as he was at her, he still meant what he’d said when they made up that night of the storm. He was very much able to live without her. He knew he could do it, and he knew he’d be fine in the long run. But he didn’t want to. He didn’t understand why the thought of just ending this, of their screwing stopping and them both moving on, made him uncomfortable.

But why did she have to be such a bitch to him? Arthur grit his teeth and squashed his cigarette beneath his heal, expelling the last of the smoke from his lungs. It climbed up towards the sky, which was fading and blending colors above him. Fuck Chardonnay and her ridiculous personality. Fuck her! He hated that she was making him think about her, about the future, about how he’d messed things up with Erin, just – everything! He went back into the theater just as angry as he was when he left, and wound up losing his temper again. By that point, he realized he just needed to leave and did, angrily telling Jasmin to run the place in his steed. He expected to be answered with a ‘sure, whatever’, not an awkward silence. By the time he looked at her, Jasmin had her hands folded on her hips.

”You’re lucky I know you’re not normally this shitty a boss, Arthur,” Jasmin rolled her eyes in response to that, ”’Cause if I didn’t, today would have made me quit.”

Fuck. He hadn’t ever pissed Jasmin off that bad before, and Arthur knew it. He apologized again, and left, but instead of going to his apartment he cruised down the highway, going way too fast, stopping at a Burger King somewhere in Waterdale and stuffing his face full of French fries. This was all Chardonnay’s fucking fault. She had his mind in such a god damn frendsy. And she was the one in the wrong here! She was! Not him. But... sitting there in the Burger King parking lot, with half a bag of fries in his lap and the other half in his mouth, he started to think about how he hadn’t actually explained the message. They had made an agreement after all... no fucking other people without telling each other. It wasn’t like he showed her the message. Since then there had been a few more messages – Erin talking about how she liked the main character, but nothing else of real substance. Arthur took a deep breath. He sent another text to Jasmin, telling her that he was going to get his apartment fixed and would give her a break from the theater tomorrow to run the place himself. She responded ‘k’ and Arthur slammed his forehead on the horn. All his life, guys liked to tease him about being good with women because he was always surrounded by girls, but obviously he wasn’t any good at all.

About an hour later he finally pulled into his parking lot, chucking his trash in the bin outside of his complex. He entered the apartment, noticing Chardonnay wasn’t here or if she was that he couldn’t see her. He flicked on the kitchen light and stormed into his bedroom, angrily making the sheets that he had washed before work. As mixed as his emotions were right now, he was still angry, and he had a feeling seeing Chardonnay’s spoiled fucking face would just set him off again.

He heard the door open and didn’t turn around.

”I’m not fucking Erin.” He said, before he could stop himself, ”she has a boyfriend and it’s not me.”

Arthur rolled his eyes at Chardonnay’s response. Honestly, he didn’t know why he thought she’d react any differently. And why wouldn’t she believe him either? He had no reason to lie to her. This was so annoying. He didn’t look at Chardonnay as she moved to put her crap in her suitcase. He wondered if she was leaving tonight to go to a damn hotel. If she did, that would be it. They’d be done forever just because she couldn’t get over herself enough to listen to him. That thought annoyed him, for several reasons, but one of them was that he didn’t want them to stop screwing. God. The fact that he still wanted her when she damaged his property and didn’t respect him half the time got on his nerves. Maybe he was just really into sex. Or maybe he was a masochist. What else would explain why he kept having Chardonnay come over? This was just more evidence he should let it end. He wasn’t going to be in his twenties forever, and if he didn’t start looking for a serious relationship soon... would he ever make a family? He didn’t know, and that pissed him off. Everything pissed him off. Especially Chardonnay right now.

”And what the fuck makes you think I’d keep sleeping with you if I had a girlfriend?!” Arthur snapped back, finally turning to face her. She smelled slightly charred, but that was normal, she worked at a restaurant. And there she went – calling him an asshole again. She didn’t even know him. He rolled his eyes and took a few steps closer to her, folding his arms across his chest. ”You didn’t even see the full fucking message! Call me an asshole all you want but you’re the one acting like a judgmental bitch!”

Arthur shoved Chardonnay out of his way so that he could get to the drawers he kept his clothes in, and pulled out his sweatpants and a loose shirt.

Again, she wasn’t listening. Arthur scoffed when she said she didn’t need to know the content of the message – that was the whole fucking point of a message! She’d only seen the first half of it, which didn’t even mention what they’d done! She just assumed it was sex! Because that was all she ever thought about. Feelings? Nah, fuck that. All Chardonnay cared about was sex.

”I go out every night so that I can have a fucking cigarette because someone douses me in water every time she catches me smoking! I go out for a drive and a smoke, because that’s what I like to do with my time! I’m not always sitting on my ass waiting for you to come home! Not even that I care -- I shouldn’t even have to explain this! And the only times I stayed over anywhere were when I went to my sisters’ place! You know. To spend some fucking time with my family! I didn’t know that was a crime or anything you wanted updates on!” He snapped. He hadn’t ever had Erin over here while Chardonnay was staying. He rarely had people besides Maxine over to his place anyway without warning, but he’d told Maxine not to come over for the next few months, so no one except Chardonnay and his family had been here. It was surprising, though. He thought the only reason she’d be pissed would be if she had to book a hotel. Wouldn’t she want to have space from him most of the time? And she was still going on about the Erin thing?

He rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone from his pocket, unlocked it, and pulled up his texts from Erin. At the top of the log was the chat from earlier – the tidbit about watching the second season of a show at some point. Then there was another message from her saying who her favorite character was. Arthur’s next message was a confirmation they could watch the show sometime and that he thought the character she liked needed to take a foot up the ass. The last message was one from Erin, telling him not to be so mean to the character, and that was it.

”We watched a show. Fucking scroll through the messages if you want, I don’t care! That’s all we do together! Erin and I don’t screw and like I said she has a boyfriend! I’m not some player like you seem to think I am! For fuck’s sake! I don’t want her that way, and that’s the reason we didn’t work out! It’s because you’re the only fucking person I want to screw right now and Jesus Christ, I question why the fuck that is every time shit like this happens, because you’re such a fucking brat!"

Arthur listened to her rant and complain without believing anything she said. If she didn’t care, like she was constantly insisting to him right now, why the hell was this even a problem? She said he lied to her and fucked someone else but he didn’t. He didn’t and she had no right to be angry when he wasn’t lying and obviously she wasn’t listening. It was a good reason to go out and stay away from her, to smoke – why was she having such a problem believing him?! He groaned and, with his free hand, ran his fingers through his hair. She was so stupid for getting mad at him, so bratty, so spoiled... he explained himself and she still didn’t get it! ”I am not screwing her,” Arthur snapped in retaliation, though he still questioned why he was here, arguing with her about this, when he could just tell her to shut up and get out of his apartment.

But, still, he let her take his phone, which was something he never let anyone do. No even his sister got to go through his phone. Sure he’d let her take a picture with it, or see his lock screen, but she didn’t have access to his texts. For most people, the reason he thought he didn’t let anyone do that was because Chardonnay was always recent in his contacts list. He talked to her pretty much every day. But, he just... watching Chardonnay look through his messages, no matter the expression on her face, made him uncomfortable. He wanted his phone back, but he guessed it was a good thing if it got Chardonnay to fucking believe him.

But then she retaliated and went farther back than Arthur thought she would. She scrolled up and saw the message she’d sent him when she was drunk and left by her friends. He rolled his eyes at Chardonnay’s accusatory tone and the implications she spat at him. Arthur couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was angry, annoyed... and offended.

”What the fuck, Chardonnay?! She was drunk! The fuck kind of a guy do you think I am?” he snapped, ”Wait. Never mind. I fucking know exactly what you think of me. No, we didn’t watch any shows that night! I went and picked her drunk ass up, got her home to her roommate, and then left!”

He took another step closer to her, and snatched his phone back. He angrily flung up through the messages, exposing weeks and months of conversation, all pretty much the same thing whizzing by – conversations about TV shows, asking for rides, jokes, and pictures. Once he’d flicked the messages up, he threw the phone back at her. ”Fuck you! You don’t trust me?! Well here. Fucking here. Read through every god damn fucking text on my phone if you want to I am not screwing anyone! If you don’t believe me, still, then just fucking leave!”