Remembering Mel.. (626 views)

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Bethany
Active member

forever in my heart, Dimple Face <3

Joined: May 2016
Posts: 61

Remembering Mel.. Sept 3, 2016 10:27:44 GMT -5 Kenzie, Shelby, and 1 more like this

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Post by Bethany on Sept 3, 2016 10:27:44 GMT -5

Hi, everyone. Current members, past members and even future members...

I never thought this would be a post I would write. Never in a million years. The fact that I am even writing this makes me feel sick to my stomach. But it has to be done. Kenzie and I thought it would be a good idea to have a place where we can look back on things. We invite you all to write down any thoughts and memories you may have, no matter how small or silly they may seem. I feel like we all need this place to reflect back on, to take a few minutes and feel something. And for those of you who never got to meet her, here you can read about how amazing she was.

We lost a very, very close friend of ours. Our lovely Melanie. She was 20 years old. She had her whole life ahead of her. 20 is no age to die. It’s the start of your life and it should have been the start of hers. I don’t want to make this post sad, but unfortunately, that is inevitable. But Mel wouldn’t have wanted us all to be sad. She’d want us to celebrate her life.

A lot of people don’t understand the importance of ‘internet friends’. You know, the ones that you never actually get to see in person, unless you’re very lucky. That’s what we all are. That’s what Mel is, too. Except, I think we’re more than just internet friends. We’re closer than that. We all have each other's backs, even if sometimes, things get a little bit crazy around here. We laugh together, cry together and love and support one another. Mel is still is one of us. She will always be a part of us. Just because she’s not here in person anymore, doesn’t mean that she isn’t here in spirit. And if I knew anything about her, it was that she was not somebody the world can forget about.

She has the kindest heart, the wisest soul, and the most colourful mind. She is one of the few people who could make you smile without even realising that she had, it's like she didn't even need to try. She was amazing with words, and she can write like she has written 100 bestselling books. Being funny came naturally to her, along with being an amazing friend. She has always been there for each and every one of us and she would go out of her way to make us feel better when we needed it. She is a very important part of our small friendship group, and I know that everybody loved her to pieces, not just me. I know that we’re all feeling the same way, too. Shocked, upset, numb, maybe even a little angry at the world, too.

I know that she’s in someplace better, right now. I believe that. I have to believe that this isn’t the end for her. She’s probably floating around with the aliens, right now. She’d love that. She was always big into aliens. Aliens and kitty cats. I wish you had known how loved you are. I wish you were able to understand what you mean to people. I’m sure that you can see us all now, you’re probably laughing at us.

Mel will be forever loved and missed by all of us. She was always understanding and she cared for everyone. I will never, ever forget all of the memories we have, even though we never got to have them face to face. I will miss all of your crazy snapchats, singing your little lungs out to me.

I hope that wherever you rest, you never feel alone, Mel.

Sleep tight, Little One.

All my love,

xxx

Last Edit: Sept 3, 2016 10:39:08 GMT -5 by Bethany

girls: lola henderson. felicity fairchild. maddison miller. billie-jean gallegos. summer jones. teddy morgan. layla rose.

guys: parker garcia. giovanni abella. alfie baxter. taylor davies. freddie phillips.

pierce
Swag Master

Joined: August 2015
Posts: 1,079

Remembering Mel.. Sept 4, 2016 16:34:10 GMT -5 Kenzie, Shelby, and 1 more like this

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Post by pierce on Sept 4, 2016 16:34:10 GMT -5

there is no way that i could follow beth's post aptly, without repeating almost verbatim what she's already stated but i do want to say my peace as well - with respect and honor to mel who was like a sister and genuine friend to us all. i've written a poem to this effect, which is as follows:

to honor the dearly departed
it takes one to sit back
ruminate every moment shared
on both sides of the spectrum
moments held in high regard
no matter how sad, or happy - they're remembered.
thus life is as we take it in, fulfilling it as fit
in conversations, it brims with joy
in turmoil it hangs heavy and harsh
but we straddle both sides on the line of this linear existence.
what we do to preserve the moments dear
is also how we remind ourselves to keep steady,
focused, true to ourselves
this we learn and uphold for all
for our melanie, in memory.
we love you, in all that you are
in all that you may soon become.
ascend & forever transpire! ∞ <3

Last Edit: Sept 4, 2016 16:35:55 GMT -5 by pierce

the Girls:
Tamara Dudley * Cleo Leon * Julietta 'Remy' Polait * Eloise Temple, PI * Perla Mercer * Lynn Goodwin * Lilith Peters

the Guys:
Bennett Dudley * Elliot Sadler * Lance Fleece * Clay Carpet * Wade Rawlson * Sylvan Peters * Clint Clark * Miles Lambert * Marty Rivers * Calvin Powell

Kenzie
Administrator

The best people in life are free.

Joined: March 2013
Posts: 2,535

Remembering Mel.. Sept 6, 2016 15:58:05 GMT -5 Shelby, pierce, and 1 more like this

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Post by Kenzie on Sept 6, 2016 15:58:05 GMT -5

I’m mainly writing this for me, to get some feelings out, and to write my own kind of tribute to Mel. Apologies if it gets long or rambly, I’m not really setting any limits on myself right now. Just... gonna write, I guess.

I met Mel 3 years ago, in 2013, on neopets. We were involved in the same roleplaying guild which then turned into a roleplaying forum. Mel was always one of the most active and dedicated members of Briarwood, and we had many plots between our characters, many interesting roleplays, and talked daily whether it was in character or out of character. In fact, one of the older couples from that forum was Clem and one of her guys. The fun part about bringing Clem to metric was going to be having her interact with Keegan (who she’d used as her boy’s playby on Briarwood). I remember texting Mel offhandedly about my interest in bringing Clem back, and her interest in doing that plot with Clem and Keegan was one of the things that enticed me. Of course, Clem had interesting interaction with Becca’s character Fletcher too, and I was looking forward to all of it.

When Briarwood fell out of peoples’ interests a year ago, I extended the invite to everyone to come over to Metric and join – and of course Mel joined. She became, again, one of the most active and dedicated members of the forum. And again so many different plots were imagined – offhandedly I mentioned (again via text) that I was interested in Shyanne having an ex-boyfriend who caused drama. Mel immediately volunteered to make Brad, and thus the Bryanne and Baddie drama was born. Mel has always been someone who was so fun to bounce ideas off of, even when I didn’t have many ideas at first. Just a thought turned into a character for Mel, just a possibility became real and a part of the forum and some new way for our characters to interact. Mel always liked to have dramatic and fun plots start. She had so many characters to use, and so many ideas that didn’t get a chance to be written out. Mel was one of the biggest players in our little bubble. It’s impossible to imagine this. Signing on and not seeing Mel in the ‘active in the last 24 hours’ list, and opening Spotify and seeing that she hasn’t listened to a new song since the night she died, is heartbreaking.

I feel like I should have texted her the day before, to maybe ask her to plot something between Ash and Gemma with me. I took for granted that we could plot ‘later’. I took for granted that she would be available to talk with ‘later’. Because now, it’s later, and she’s gone. My phone is never going to light up with a message from Mel, talking about the latest person she’s talking to on Tinder or about the latest idea for a character she had. I took for granted that I could always text her ‘later’ and change the tone of our last conversation from heavy to light. The last message I sent to her, send a few hours after Carm came on to tell us the news, is not going to be responded to. Ever. And it still hasn’t sunken in. It’s going to sink in, eventually. But none of this feels real, or possible. Today in the car, I thought of an idea. I was like, ‘I should suggest to Mel that – ‘ and then I remembered.

Mel was always full of crazy stories and ideas – of humor and puns and all of that good shit. I know that we should remember the good times – and I am definitely remembering the good times – but it hurts to think there’s not going to be any more good times. I love all of the times I’d sign onto Metric and see Mel down in the plotbox, talking about her latest thread. And I miss the funny replies she’s written, the more serious ones, the fluffy and shippy ones. I would give anything to be able to sign on and just see that happening again. Because she was always happy when she’d do that. Mel went through a lot of hard times – especially recently – and it was always nice to see her at least happy on here if she wasn’t happy elsewhere.

A week ago, I never would have saw this coming. Ever. I never, ever, thought this would be something I would have to write in tribute to any of my friends.

I love you, Mel. You were taken from us way too soon. Someday we’ll be able to party again, and I’ll tell you to punch away all your problems. Until then, I’ll just have to think about what we’ve been through thus far.

Amy O'Neal || Todd Bennett || Chad Richardson || Arthur Summers || Hallie Grey || Clementine Coleman

Cliff Arkwright || Ash DeCosta || Shyanne Volle || Seamus MacAlister || Savannah Nieto || Daemon Jeong

Ms. Susan Summers || Mr. Jean Audet

Lennox Richardson

jaetoxicvenom
Active member

Joined: June 2015
Posts: 60

Remembering Mel.. Sept 7, 2016 16:03:24 GMT -5 pierce likes this

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Post by jaetoxicvenom on Sept 7, 2016 16:03:24 GMT -5

Unlike most here, I didn't know Mel that well- We talked, even away from Metric, but I didn't truly know her like everyone else here. I didn't know her favorite colors, animals, or anything of that sort. Honestly, I couldn't even tell you which characters were hers.

For quite a while, I'd roleplay but then be driven elsewhere, as I have constantly struggled with forum roleplaying... but when it's your last outlet, you feel pressured to just go with it.

I remember Mel's laughter, having heard it through the web cam. I got to see her face, her smiling... and yet, somehow, I still didn't know her.

Earlier, upon first finding the news, I thought I'd write a poem for her, to show how deeply our friendship was...But, y'know what? I couldn't do it. I couldn't think of what to say in that poem, I couldn't express the tangled mess of my emotions.

I remember one of the last things that I did, one that hurt Mel rather deeply. I thought apologizing was the way to go, as often is, but I felt I was still a bit insincere about it. The last real conversation I had with Mel was.... pathetically, arguing over play bys and whether or not they matched. She was just trying to help, and I shot her down- Something I'm apparently gifted with doing. I instantly feel like I'm backed into the corner... And I lashed out. The last words from Mel, towards me, was sarcasm.

Again, I have a death that I couldn't make right. The last one? It was my older brother, I told him I hated him and wanted him dead... and he died. I never got to make things up to Mel, not truly...

But I know she has a kind, loving heart. I know she brings light into every room she walks.... and most importantly, she's where she can't feel pain any longer. Most importantly, her spirit has finally been set free, no limits or bounds attached.

And I just hope she can forgive me, when we see each other again someday.

Lori
Kool Kat

Joined: July 2015
Posts: 706

Remembering Mel.. Sept 10, 2016 19:00:03 GMT -5 Kenzie, pierce, and 1 more like this

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Post by Lori on Sept 10, 2016 19:00:03 GMT -5

I don't even know where to start. This isn't something i wanna write about, that any of us wanna write about let alone even think about. It's hard, it's hurtful, it's unbelievable and, probably worst of all, heartbreaking. To lose Mel, it hurts us all in some way. Whether we knew her really well for a few years or one year or even a few months. She was still a part of our lives - a huge part, actually. If none of us were hurting at all there would be something terribly wrong; even moreso than all of this.

Honestly, this hits home for me really hard. I haven't been very vocal about this because it's difficult to talk about. A couple of months before i first came onto Metric, my dad passed away. He had been to the doctor a couple of times the month prior - which was odd for him - and got a scan done the week of. What no one told us, if anyone even knew, was that he had a pulmonary embolism and that's what caused him to go. I was extremely close with my dad; he and i might as well have been the same person. So for me to lose someone that close to me, on top of that, that being my first real heartache, was indescribable in the worst way possible. It has hurt terribly from the moment we were told he was gone and now, a little over a year later, it still hurts. I lost a lot of motivation after that. There are still some days where i need every distraction possible because it hurts so much and it will never stop hurting. Writing was an outlet for me in a way because like art, it was something my dad and i both loved. And so i came on Metric as kind of another distraction. I didn't have to think about the hurt. I didn't have to think about not wanting to see people, let alone half my friends that weren't talking to me. I didn't have to think about catching up on the shows i loved watching with him and, most of all, i didn't have to sit around and think about all the stuff i was gonna miss out in my life - the things my dad should be around for and won't be because of this. So a little over a year later, to find out that one of my biggest outlets for distraction and one of the things i used so much to help me get through this past year, the same thing happened again. Now we all lost someone because there was an embolism unexpectedly living inside our friend and it took her from us. It took her way too soon.

It's so easy to be in denial about this. For us to just stare at our screens and think this is all a nightmare and Mel's gonna come back on. It's different when it's someone you physically saw every day and was always there every day; and it's so hard to imagine them not being there. That doesn't make it any easier. Actually, it makes it the opposite. It makes it harder. Because now we have to force ourselves to remember this is one less person who's gonna log on every day and now there are all these roleplays that can't be finished. All these plots that can't be created. All these characters' lives will never be the same because Mel played such a huge role in them. No, admittedly not all of them. But there are at least a handful of characters that we all created with Mel. They were created with Mel and her characters in mind. To fulfill a plot or an idea we had.

One of the first times Mel and i realized we didn't really roleplay together one on one much, i think we started out by hooking up Declan and Robby. Because they seemed like they'd work well together and they just came across like hookup buddies. I couldn't have imagined that months later we'd not only have them hooking up throughout their lives when they needed a booty call but that we'd also create other characters and plots together, let alone ones that we became so attached to. When Mel was thinking about a new character, i told her i was creating two best friends and how awesome it'd be if they could be a trio instead of a duo. We didn't get to use the besties much, unfortunately. We had a few ideas...they just either never got done or amounted to nothing more than a few posts. Mel never hesitated to come up with a new character. And when i made an observation that we had four out of six HSM-inspired charries, she jumped at the chance to create one. We made the Chaylor of the popular group and even though we had the shortest possible time with them, they became one of our favorite OTPs. We literally had these characters' futures planned to a T. We gushed over them, we figured out what songs would be their songs, we had at least three different crackship images or gifs of them.... We all had characters like that with Mel, i think. Beth shared Baddie with Mel, Pierce shared Bendy with Mel and Kenzie and Mel had Bryanne. Those kinds of characters and relationships and ideas and stories...sure, they could have come from almost anyone. Anyone could have thought of a mini Chad to be Shyanne's ex and cause drama. But anyone didn't. Mel did that. This forum would not be what it has been without Mel, her ideas and her creativity.

I wish i had more time to roleplay with Mel. I wish that she and i could have started roleplaying together sooner. It makes me feel bad that whenever someone comes up with new characters or ideas, i don't try hard enough to be a part of it. Metric has meant something to a lot of us. Whether it was just an outlet for creativity, a place to talk or to get away from reality. For me, it was all of the above. On here, i didn't just have to write HSM fanfiction or try to write out my feelings when i was sad. I didn't just have to sit in a room by myself staring at a computer screen. And i didn't have to think about how sometimes, it felt like my life really sucked. Even when Mel wasn't roleplaying or plotting she was talking about something. I think RuPaul was one of the shows she always said she was watching. The last things i remember talking to her about, other than plotting out OTP Peybin and their family or about what she was doing or feeling that day specifically, she shared links to some Disney Buzzfeed quizzes. And she talked about the last episode of Catfish she saw and she was trying to catch up on Degrassi on Netflix.

But now...now when i come on, i see the last thing from her was her promising she'd get to replies when she wasn't so drugged up. I can't stand to look at that because i still expect to see her come on. I still expect to see a reply from her and for us to plot like it used to be. Whether we talked to her online or over texting or webcam, whether it was every day or every other day Mel brought something special here with her. It was something no one else could. And it didn't matter that she was an online friend. She was still our friend. We didn't have to see her in person to know how much she cared about us or how much she meant to us. She was our friend. That's all that mattered. That's all that ever will matter.

I hope we can all get through this together. That at the end of the day we'll still have each other. I don't wanna say that Mel wouldn't want us to be sad or stop roleplaying or doing anything together. Only she can tell us that. But we already lost her. We can't lose anyone else right now. And i just wanted to say, even though it's not said anywhere near enough, i love you guys. Thank you for the distractions and the talks and the characters and the plots and, most of all, just being here. I don't ever want that to go without saying.

Mel, i'm sorry we didn't get to roleplay together as much as we wanted. I'm sorry that i didn't really get to talk to you the last couple of days, if at all, because i was busy with stupid work. I hope that you're doing ok and you know how much we love, care and miss you. You will never be forgotten and we will always be thinking of you. Whatever any of us did to deserve to have you in our lives, however brief, thank you. <3

I wish we could give you more than just this because you deserve more. We can't give you the ideas we all came up with together and we can't do a lot of things without you. Things like Bryanne battles or hot Debyn hookups, we can't give those to you without you. Even though we know you'd really like that and more. For now, i wanna give you a thing i made. I started it the week you left. It may not be much, but it's for you Mel. This, and any other tributes we can possibly come up with to honor and share the good times, it's all for you.

∫ The Momma ∫ The Flirt ∫ The Hookup ∫ The Lover ∫ The Good Girl ∫ The Ryan
∫ The Pokémon Master ∫
∫ The Goof ∫ The Nerd ∫ The Big Guy ∫ The Quiet ∫ The Proud ∫ The Quirk ∫
∫ The Girlie ∫ The Struggle ∫
∫ The Light Saber of Creativity ∫

Metric School of the Arts
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Remembering Mel.. (626 views)

Post by Bethany on Sept 3, 2016 10:27:44 GMT -5

Post by pierce on Sept 4, 2016 16:34:10 GMT -5

Post by Kenzie on Sept 6, 2016 15:58:05 GMT -5

Post by jaetoxicvenom on Sept 7, 2016 16:03:24 GMT -5

Post by Lori on Sept 10, 2016 19:00:03 GMT -5

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